The Pool of Problems: NOW OPEN

Alright, so the pool has now been open since the last week in June giving reason for my blogging hiatus. I generally work a combo 8 hours in the morning at the hospital and 8 hours in the evening at the pool or 12 hours at the pool followed by an 8 hour night shift at the hospital...time for anything other than work is hard to come by and sleeping and eating have been winning out over the blog. My body has adapted to sporadic naps at this point, so I am hopeful to catch the blog up to date in the next couple days.
Anyways, in regards to the pool, where I last left off, suited up in arctic explorer garb, we prepped the pool for paint with acid. This was then followed by several days of drying and painting. It should be known that none of us possessed any professional training in regards to pool painting, but when in Kuujjuaq...

With my taping expertise I think it turned out pretty well...Sadly 2 weeks in to the pool being open large amounts of paint in the shallow end have chipped off but don't blame the painter blame the paint

After several days of sweaty painting (imagine a greenhouse and you pretty much have the Kuujjuaq pool) and drying, the water trucks were called up to fill. 28 water trucks and 2 days later the pool was filled. Over this 48hour period I met the entire staff of water truck drivers holding many an awkward conversation of me asking polite questions about the weather and their life in Kuujjuaq only to receive one word answers or sometimes only facial expressions...(it takes at least 20min for each truck to empty so one can imagine the awks level...HIGH).

The water filling the pool comes straight from the river and is therefore both cold and filled with mineral deposits from the runoff, ie not crystal clear. The water treatment plant delivered to us giant vats of chlorine to add, however they were unable to provide us with its concentration level...cue the beginning of pool problem hell. Having really no clue what I am doing and going on the fact that there is zero chlorine in the added river water, we dumped an entire barrel in. The indicator chlorine test gave us a result of zero leading us to assume more should be added...BIG MISTAKE. Two more barrels later and still a reading of zero chlorine we realize that high levels can actually bleach out the indicator leading to the false assumption of zero chlorine when really you have WAY to much. It is impossible to say exactly how much too much we had, but I would roughly estimate at least 100 times over the desired level. Anyways we drained and diluted and all was fine, minus the fact that the plumber probs hates me. Sadly this was not the end of our problems, next we find that there are huge leaks in the foundation...large amounts of water flooding the basement and slowly draining the pool, despite the fact that multiple times before we started to fill I requested some to come for an inspection. Anyways 3 days later (another building in Kuujj was flooding and apparently there is only one crack filler) a pseudo patch job was performed meaning the crack are now only producing miniature streams instead of lakes and rivers. Again not the end of the problems...THE HEATER WAS BROKEN!. After speaking to the plumber (with which mutual hatred is shared) asking multiple times that he has checked to make sure the heaters are working, after 4 days of waiting for the pool temp to go up he discovers that the heat exchanger is broken, and by discover I mean I pointed to the heat exchanger and said I didn't think heat was being exchanged....


Anyways, after my boss claimed if we didn't open ASAP the town would be sending me home on a stretcher...because really everything that went wrong was entirely MY fault, we opened with a pool temp of below 60 degrees Fahrenheit (normal pools are around 80-84). The kids didn't seem to care, the pool has been packed to capacity everyday since, although it is now 84 degrees.

Cue 7 days a week of the most dreaded three hours of my day...Public swim, 80 screaming children magnified by the greenhouse, zero adults, limited English and ages ranging from 3-12.

The smile in this picture is purely for show

Future Dogsled Racer

Since the pool isn't open yet, the only people I really know here are the two other lifeguards I work with. In the rare event that I am not working or sleeping things can be a bit lonely. To rectify this, my neighbour (the other lifeguard Kim) and I have taken to holding random puppies hostage in our homes. Most locals seem to have some sort of Husky mutt tied out front of their houses, yet the puppies, which seem to be in high abundance at this time of year run free, ie perfect for random strangers to kidnap for a few hours without anyone noticing. Our latest puppy encounter lives just behind the yellow palace, perfect for frequent visits. The other day we lured him in with leftover meat (obviously from Kim's dinner not mine).



It didn't take much to persuade him. The meat was gone in seconds.

Due to the fact that we are borrowing her without the knowledge of her "owner" we don't know her real name. Inspired by one of the CDs left for us in the glove box of the blue beast by a popular Arctic rapper who goes by the name of "Young Black Inuk", the puppy is now referred to as Inuk and hope it has in no way any sort of derogatory connotations.


I may have to take this dog home with me in August.

Trilingual Safety

The rules I am expected to enforce if this pool ever opens.
Through comparing all three sign I am hoping to be able to recognize select Inuktitut phrases (obvi pertaining to safety) by the end of the summer. So far they still look like random shapes and the only Inuktitut I have learnt comes from the elders' home. I know the words for milk, water, cigarette, tea, finished?, thank you, you're welcome and white person. I am attempting however to expand my vocabulary. So far my favorite part of the language aside from the throaty deep voices is the fact that there is no spoken word for yes or hello. To answer yes to a question one raises their eyebrows, and to say hello to someone you just smile. Clearly after learning this I went straight to the mirror to practice my eyebrow lifts.


I have graciously included both English and French versions so if you feel so inclined you to can work on your written Inuktitut and we can have written correspondence pertaining purely to pool safety.

A Grocery Shopping Experience in a Northern Village

I feel that the true test of any new place is its ability to provide a desirable and enjoyable grocery shopping experience. Kuujjuaq is home to not one but two grocery stores...I know shocking! So far I have been a loyal customer primarily to "New'viq'vee" (I have absolutely no idea what its translation is in English), yet after recent soon to be described high price discoveries I think I will be abandoning it for "Northern" the grocery store/gas station/fast food combo alternative.
As previously mentioned, when the blue beast was so graciously gifted to me it was filled with a multitude of garbage, including more than a few jerky wrappers. Cue the New'viq'vee beef jerky aisle....
More jerky variety than any vegan could ever dream of! You name a type of jerky and it can be found in Kuujjuaq, although try to buy soy milk or whole wheat buns and you are out of luck.

Jack Link, Northern Village of Kuujjuaq's jerky of choice.

Moving on, located right next to the bananas (seriously), New'viq'vee provides all customers with the opportunity to pick up some free contraceptives before moving further down the aisle to select some outrageously priced produce, perhaps due to loss in contraceptive sales.

Moving quickly through the food aisle which really offer the same things as Provigo/Superstore minus the frills ie organic/health foods (not really a high priority in a city where deep fried bread and beluga fat are considered delicacies) one reaches the clothing section. Although I am fairly certain most people here either order their clothes by catalogue or buy them when they go down to Montreal, some select items are available for purchase such as this gem of a bug jacket. I am actually starting to get a little bit worried for the bugs due to the size of the displays of bug spray and bug apparel. So far I have only seen the odd rogue dinosaur-esque mosquito but who knows, in a couple of weeks I may be adding the bag jacket to my wardrobe.

For all those classy events and special occasions one might have to attend while here, the grocery store offers an extensive collection of pelts. I did bring my sewing kit, so if I am feeling crafty or if the night get really cold who knows what I might be sporting.
I especially enjoy the color-dyed pelts. I pretty sure they are on par for tackiness with those bouquets of dyed blue daisies. The worst, although not pictured, are the purple fox pelts.
Ok, so when I first arrived (almost 2 weeks ago...) my boss gave me a purchase order(basically a blank cheque) to go to the grocery store and buy some food and necessities. I had already brought a bunch of food with me in anticipation of the high food costs, so pretty much just bought some perishables, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc. I also picked up some snacks, because lets be real I am living in Kuujjuaq and probs will need some comfort food...cue the baked buffalo wing style ( surprisingly vegan) pringles. I didn't notice a price when I picked them up but assumed probs like 4 bucks....
WRONG, I spent almost 9 dollars on a bag of chips which really turned out to be not so good. Lets just say I will not be making a repeat purchase.

Looking for a snack in the Elders' fridge....

In the evening when I work at the Elders' home the shift runs from 7pm to 7am. The home has a full kitchen with two fridges and part of the shift includes both preparing them an evening snack (bannock bread and luke warm tea with heaping amounts of sugar is consumed in outrageous quantities) and breakfast in the morning for the early risers. It is both encouraged and expected that during your shift you can prepare yourself whatever you want to eat. On my first shift, after I had changed more than a few adult diapers and put them all to bed, I opened the fridge to look for a snack....

Canada Goose Wing! They may not be my favourite bird but I was not expecting to see their dismembered wing in the fridge. Mildly disturbed and confused I moved on to the freezer...

Jars filled with white stuff...homemade ice cream? No! I asked my coworker what it was and was shocked, horrified and disgusted...Beluga Fat. Apparently it is like candy to the elders and they eat it plain with a spoon. The entire time this was being explained to me, the song"baby beluga" and visions of the belugas at the aquarium ran through my head. My coworker proceeded to open a jar, make me smell it, and then offer me a spoonful. I guess I should have been honoured that such a delicacy was being offered to me but I politely declined stating I was full just at the moment (my veganism is a Kuujjuaq secret, I am 100% no one in Kuujjuaq would be to cool with it)
For some stupid reason, I moved to the next freezer (after my coworker moved to the next room since I told her I was full) only to be greeted with 2 more wings. This ended my snack quest and taught me an important lesson...Bring your own food to work

The photos were taken at 4am after everyone went to bed as I didn't feel like explaining to my coworker that it really isn't everyday that one finds wing and beluga fat in the fridge.
I have also since learnt that the wings are for sweeping, although they have brooms here so I still don't really get it.

Suit Up, Kuujjuaq Style

I was officially brought up to Kuujjuaq to be the assistant director of their pool but I am also working fulltime nights split between the Elder's home and the hospital. It was mentionned in emails that I would of course be prepping the pool before it was filled which I took to mean a little sweeping and hosing...WRONG. We had to repaint. This would be a simple process if a) all the paint wasn't chipping off or b) the appropriate tools ie a sandblaster to remove to the paint was available.
We (three lifeguards with zero knowledge or experience of the appropriate way to both strip paint off a pool and then re-apply) had to resort to more manual methods ie scrapers and hand sanders. Following paint removal, according to the paint cans we were given, muriatic acid had to be applied in order to etch the concrete so the fresh paint would stick. Of course none of us really new anything about the acid so we resorted to the Internet for some tips. Ha, it is apparently THE MOST DANGEROUS CHEMICAL (this was in bold and red on the website we read). For fear of our skin we went in search proper acid attire...cue arctic explorer suit found in the council basement.

It should also be noted that it has been fairly warm in Kuujjuaq, coupled with manual labour, the fact that the pool is basically a green house and that the suit is meant for use in -40 weather, things got sweaty fast.

Bring on the acid!

Pre-acid, clearly we gave up at scraping all the paint and just chipped away the loose pieces

So after we applied the acid, we diluted it with water and neutralized it with baking soda. The plan was then to just wash it down the pool drains. WRONG, again a poor assumption on our part. The drains for some faulty reason only drain water at least 2inches high. This meant we had to shop-vac up the water, lift it up out of the deep end, dump it outside (no plants will ever grow behind the pool again) and repeat (approx 30 times)
All of this just to prep to paint a pool that will be open for only 8weeks...

Off roading in the Beast

A couple of days ago (it really is harder than you would think to keep up with this whole blog thing or I just take part in way too many blog worthy activities) Kim (one of the other lifeguards who speaks only french) and I had a couple of hours to kill and decided to take the beast for a cruise down Airport road. We obviously quickly passed the airport and the road went from semi-paved to dirt. The beast obvi has 4 wheel drive so we kept going (Kuujjuaq is turning me into an overly confident truck driver despite zero skill and experience)

The trip really began with the purpose of finding the so-called "beach" which we never truly found but we did walk along the Koksoak river.
Kuujjuaq sits right on the river which if followed 50km North flows into the Ungava Bay. On my Kuujj to do list is to find a local with a boat and force him to take me to the Bay. I want to see icebergs! Apparently they are sometimes in the river, but sadly not right now. My dreams of sliding down an iceberg into glacial water have been slightly crushed but I still hold out hope due my confidence in my own personal powers of persuasion.
Moving further into the Arctic wilderness we stumbled upon what I have now claimed as my own personal Kuujjuaq cottage. Everyone needs somewhere to escape fast paced city life after a long work week.

It is nestled in a nice quiet clearing with a nice view of the river however, it comes with a few drawbacks...there are feathers everywhere from what I can only assume to be the previous owner's hunt and preparation technique of a wild goose. They were nice enough however to leave both birds wings. Locals here use bird wings to sweep...No Really!

The cottage backyard, the biggest drawback. Until tonight, I had seen zero bugs but heard many locals (including my plane friend Bertrand) speak of their legendary size. I am fairly certain this picture summarizes where they are growing, gaining strength, size, and number. From my after dinner walk and the annoying reminder of what is to come between my knuckles....the mosquitoes here are HUGE